i need to go back there.
i have to go back.
i haven't been back since the day danny left. i think that's one of the reasons i have such a hard time. i left so fast. i never went back. i had to go down another hall while they took him out. i didn't want to see it. i didn't want to believe it. i still don't. i can't even admit that he's d.e.a.d. see, i can't even say it. i have to spell it out.
i still believe all our things are still in our apartment. i so badly want to go back and see where our short time together started. we loved it there. i want to go for a walk down the path we took every saturday morning. i want to feed the meter in the parking lot where i would wait for danny to get out of class-i want to see the doors he would come out of every friday at 2:05 and put his arms in the air and wave his hands frantically at me like a dork.
i miss him. i know he loves me. i know he wants me to live and not just exist.
i need closure. not sure going to back there would give me that or make it worse.
i just want to go back.
